How Much Is That Doggie Fire Risk In The Window?
It was the summer of ‘87 and I was busking in the Middleton Grange shopping centre with my dog, when I was approached by a security guard.
He said “You can't bring your dog in here because he’s a fire hazard” I quipped "Why, have you seen him striking matches?" The security guard replied “I'm being serious!” My response… “But why then?” His reply was “If a fire breaks out, the dog may bolt during the panic, trip people up en route to the fire escapes!” I found his excuse quite lame because back then, the shopping centre wasn't closed in and on some days there was an indoor market that blocked everything anyway!
At the time this happened, there was a show called ‘That’s Life’ with Esther Rantzen and somehow my story got to her show. Some of the presenters on the show were also musicians… Ivor biggun, whose record called ‘Lie Down Girl and I'll Shove It Up’ (whoops!) hit the charts. His real name is Doc Cox - a brilliant cabaret artist in his own right. I forget the other guy’s name who played guitar, but together we formed a scratch band just for this story and the show. We did a version of ‘How Much Is That Doggie In The Window’, only we changed the words to ‘How much is that fire risk in the window… the one with the great firey tale. How much is that doggie in the window, I do hope that doggies for sale” Chorus: I'll put him out with this pail!
Footnote: As I said before, at the time the shopping centre wasn't enclosed as it is now, which leads me to believe that the shopping centre management and/or security just wanted to get rid of me but couldn’t after I had legally gained a busking license to play there. I’m guessing they concocted any excuse to get me out!
I wanted to share this story to demonstrate how busking can make everyday life so much more interesting and prove that street performance not only attracts audiences, but all sorts of unexpected experiences and opportunities!
Chordially yours,
Jeff Butterfield